"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
