She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
