Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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