Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We're too hungover to prance.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
