do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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