He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize