he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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