so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
