Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We're too hungover to prance.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
