alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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