smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
