I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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