if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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