I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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