So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You may now shotgun with the bride
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
