if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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