I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
