And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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