just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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