We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
