I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
