You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
