No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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