So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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