Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
