We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
