New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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