dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
