Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
