I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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