Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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