Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
