it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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