I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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