I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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