I think I died a long time ago.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
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SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize