Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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