just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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