i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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