I can't watch pbs sober anymore
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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