arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
