you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If I die, sorry about rent.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
