he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
