The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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