Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
