u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
