Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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