There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
