i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
