We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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