My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize