I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
