Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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