Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
