Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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