He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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