He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
