Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
