I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
