Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
